“I am submitting this menu from a Pawnee institution, J.J.’s Diner. Home of the world’s best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse.” —Ron Swanson, Time Capsule, Season 3, Episode 3 Serves: Ron Swanson, or all of the Pawnee Rangers Prep time: 30 minutes

“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have… I’m worried what you just heard was, ‘Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.” What I said was, “Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Do you understand?” —Ron Swanson, Indianapolis Season 3 Episode 6 Serves: 1, if it’s for Ron, 6-8 for those with less hearty appetites. Prep time: 25 minutes to cook the bacon in the oven, 6 hours to braid the bacon into a wreath, […]